


Young and Foolish

by verboseDescription



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Backstory, Gen, Lucretia learns that the relics suck and sometimes its ok to bail, Pre-Canon, The Suffering Games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-30 10:10:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8529034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verboseDescription/pseuds/verboseDescription
Summary: Lucretia thought she could handle anything that came her way, but Wonderland is far worse then anything she's faced before.Right now, all she wants to do is go home.





	

Lucretia sets down her rook with an air of confidence she no longer felt.

She was young and foolish, and all she wants is to go back home.

_“Lucretia,”_ Lucas says his voice echoing out of the stone around her neck. _“Be careful. You can’t afford to lose.”_

“Don’t you think I know that?” She scoffs.

 

Wonderland is a shitfest worse than cow manure. It’s like nothing she’s ever seen before. She thought she could handle it. She thought she could do something, no matter how much Maureen or Lucas insisted she do otherwise.

She knows they’re just trying to look out for her, but she has to do this. She has to at least _try._

Her confidence wavers when a large, dragon-like creature comes down and narrowly avoids swooping her up. Lucretia clutches her wand but before she can cast any kind of spell, a nearby forest elf grabs her hands.

“Don’t even think about it,” they say. “Jabberwocky’s don’t fall to just any magic.”

Lucretia sighs. It’s already been a long day, and it’s only been a couple of minutes.

“Thank you,” she says. “My name is Lucretia. Who might you be?”

“Chel,” the elf says, “I want you to know, Lucretia, if you need help, I’ll give it to you, but never at the cost of my own safety.”

“I can protect myself just fine,” Lucretia says, because she is young and foolish and far too confident in her own magic.

 

She’s loosing and she can feel it. With every wrong move, another wrinkle appears on her face. Every game lost is a year she’ll never get back.

Still, she doesn’t stop.

She’s not sure she can.

 

There’s more people in Wonderland then Lucretia had expected. She had heard the stories, of course. She knew what kind of frazzled person came out of Wonderland, but she had never paused to think about what kind of person was left _behind._

She was going to get them all out of this. None of them deserved the tortures that befell their every waking moment, and none of their relatives deserved the stress that came from not knowing where your family was.

_“Things like this are very personal to her,”_ Maureen says. _“Luca’s not going to give up. It’s alright. She’ll come back in her own time.”_

_Stop calling me Luca_ , Lucretia thinks, eyes not leaving the starry sky above her. She turns off her stone once she hears some nearby rustling and wraps her fingers tighter around her wand.

_Stop acting like you understand._

When she was young, her parents had taught her how to play. They were so proud of how quickly she learned, how she always found a way to win no matter what corner she was trapped in. They told her if she played life like she played chess, she’d always find a way to come out on top.

When she was a bit older, Maureen told her that chess was a game you played like a heartless general.

When she was a bit older, she realized she cared about certain things more than being at the top.

When you look at your life like a chess board, you’re not the king.

You’re a pawn.

 

By Lucretia’s third week in Wonderland, she already has an entire adventuring party. Besides Chel, there’s Boyland, a hardy dwarf with a family who needs him, Nadia, a quick-footed Halfling, and Sarah Rachel, a human blacksmith. It’s clear to see that none of them would describe themselves as _friends—_ not in Wonderland, where anything can lead to your end—but they look out for each other and sometimes, the strangers they come across.

Lucretia doesn’t think any of them are heartless creatures. They’re just all doing what it takes to survive.

“We wouldn’t even be in this mess if it wasn’t for that stupid relic,” Sarah grumbles, glaring around at the distance as if daring something to try and attack them.

“The Red Robes never should have made them,” Nadia agrees, swinging her axe as she walks. “I mean, what did they expect?”

“Less war?” Boyland replies, half joking.

“If there wasn’t any war,” Chel says. “I don’t think I’d be here.”

“Neither would I,” Lucretia says.

They mean this in very different ways.

“Nadia,” Lucretia asks, more suddenly then she should in a group like this. “What do you know about the Red Robes?”

 

Chel is the one who found the way out, but they weren’t the one to take it. They hadn’t wanted anyone to take it.

“I’m not looking for a way out now. I just want to find the cause of all this chaos,” Lucretia had reassured Chel. “But I know I’ll be alright if I lose a few years. I’ve always been told I had an old soul.”

 “Old souls need their youth more than anyone else,” Chel had replied, their expression so worried Lucretia couldn’t help but wonder how much the elf knew.

Looking back, she thinks she should have been more worried that someone with such a long lifespan was so frightened to risk any of it.

But Lucretia is young and foolish, and far too confident in her own abilities.

 

“Do you think this could have been a good thing?” Nadia asks. “The relic, I mean. If it really was the safe haven everyone thought it was when they came inside.”

“I don’t think it could be,” Chel says softly. “I think this is as good as it gets.”

There’s a moment of silence as the party remembers that Chel has been here since Wonderland’s creation. Everyone knows there must have been a chance for them to have left by now, some deal to make, some gamble to risk, but they hadn’t taken it.

When Chel entered Wonderland, there was a war brewing.

There still _is_ a war. Nothing’s gotten better.

There’s not much use in risking something to leave when outside is just as big of a disaster.

 

He wears a top hat and a wicked grin and tells her to call him whatever she wants.

“Hatter,” Lucretia says, because she has places she’d like to be and she doesn’t have time to spend naming capricious beings who want for nothing but her suffering.

“And what will you bet to get out of this land, madam?”

“Anything I need to.” She feels a bit silly saying this. It makes her feel like a proper adventurer, like someone from a story. Lucretia is no hero, but she’s also no liar.

Hatter’s grin grows even wider and even wickeder. He leads her to an enclosed field checkered like a chess board and asks her to pull up a chair at a small wooden table in the center.

“Before we start,” He says. “Would you like some tea?”

 

Chel gets separated from the group one day and Lucretia can’t help but feel as though it might be the worst day of her life. They had still been looking for the relic, but there was no way Lucretia could continue with her quest. Leaving Wonderland was dangerous either way, but it was always wiser to take the path with the least bloodshed.

Chel had told her not to take anyone’s gamble and Lucretia had listened but now Chel was gone and _fuck it_ Lucretia was young and had nothing to lose but the tattered remains of her nativity and so she sets out to find Hatter. All she knew about him was what he took and the trouble he caused, but Lucretia cared about one thing, and that was getting home.

“Do you think you can get us all out?” Nadia asks. She doesn’t sound hopeful, just curious and that, Lucretia thinks, makes it so much worse.

“I don’t know,” she says. “I’ll do my best.”

 

“Caring costs extra,” Hatter says. Lucretia nods.

“So be it,” she says, and makes a mental note never to tell the others.

_“Think about this for a moment,”_ Maureen begs her. _“How are you going to enjoy your life out of Wonderland if you have none of it left?”_

Lucretia says nothing. She thinks about Boyland’s family. She thinks about his children, crying for their father. She thinks about Nadia, who only came to Wonderland on the small chance she had found somewhere safe. She thinks about Chel.

“It’s not just about me,” Lucretia says. “It never has been.”

_“But that doesn’t mean you have to be the one risking everything.”_

 

When Lucretia enters Wonderland, she’s young and foolish and full of determination.

When Lucretia exits Wonderland, she’s old and wiser and full of foresight.

Sarah helps her steady herself and all Lucretia can think is how that this will be forever, that no one’s going to ever ask if she’s Lucas’s sister again, that no one will ask if Maureen’s her mother—not that she _wanted_ them too, but still, she never expected to outgrow it, not so soon—that she’s never going to worry about grey hairs because her’s is already white, or that she’s never going to be a young woman with suitors or any other frivolous thing she may have wanted, had it not been for the war.

“Will you be alright?” Nadia asks. Lucretia smiles at her.

 

An exchange is made. This is how it works:

  * Lucretia gives up her youth in exchange for freedom.



It’s almost poetic, in the way deities sometimes were when they wanted to punish a follower. But Lucretia followed no one but her own mind. She’s been betrayed by nothing but her own hubris.  

But if she falls, it will not be because her wings melted beneath her, it will be because she chose to make the dive into the ocean to look for treasure. Sometimes, people make mistakes. Sometimes, people need to make mistakes.

And she won’t drown. The way up may be long, but she’ll resurface every time.

With one hand free to tread water, and the other, clutching pearls.

  * Lucretia gives up her innocence in exchange for knowledge.



Wonderland has left her scarred—physically and mentally. But it also let her meet Nadia, who knows more about the Red Robes then most and always knows where to go to find out more, and Sarah’s knowledge of blacksmithing will _surely_ become helpful later on, just as she’d always need Boyland’s quick wit and sharp eyes.

She has such incredible connections and all she needed to do to get them was risk her life.

Life’s funny like that.

  * Lucretia gives up her chance to mourn any of this to form a plan for the future.



In the distance, she can see Maureen and Lucas, two great inventors, running up to the four of them, surprise and relief painted on their faces. In the sky above them, Lucretia swears she could almost see something moving, but pays little attention. It occurs to her that maybe, everything she needs is right in front of her.

“Nadia,” Lucretia says. “I think everything is going to be just fine.”

In the sky, the world’s one moon hangs on fiercely as if trying to convince the rising sun that night’s still a bit longer, and that day hasn’t come.

Not yet.

**Author's Note:**

> All ocs were named after friends, because i was joking about doing that. "Sarah Rachel" was named because half the people i know who listen to taz are named Sarah or Rachel.  
> I'd like to say I'd continue this, but I know my shit brain. I hope you enjoyed.


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